So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
