When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
