Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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