wanna go halves on a baby?
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize