She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
