Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
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