she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
