Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.

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(508): i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker. http://tfl.nu/03y7

Replies (5) Good night (834) Bad night (916)
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(631): View more from New York

So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.

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(631): So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that. http://tfl.nu/a0qi

Replies (11) Good night (3726) Bad night (1221)
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(954): View more from Florida

I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.

(727): View more from Florida

More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.

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(954): I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning. (727): More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort. http://tfl.nu/lvyr

Replies (15) Good night (4839) Bad night (723)
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(914): View more from New York

i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same

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(914): i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same http://tfl.nu/tcqj

Replies (39) Good night (1163) Bad night (5611)
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(432): View more from Texas

Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.

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(432): Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite. http://tfl.nu/cdg2

Replies (49) Good night (7256) Bad night (1805)
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(941): View more from Florida

I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.

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(941): I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked. http://tfl.nu/4e23

Replies (9) Good night (1838) Bad night (964)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...

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(508): I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ... http://tfl.nu/q441

Replies (5) Good night (749) Bad night (2013)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...

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(608): There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position... http://tfl.nu/q8gr

Replies (3) Good night (2139) Bad night (744)
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(216): View more from Ohio

Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.

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(216): Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds. http://tfl.nu/t6po

Replies (3) Good night (1919) Bad night (610)
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(337): View more from Louisiana

And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!

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(337): And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir! http://tfl.nu/0uwq

Replies (1) Good night (556) Bad night (395)
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(802): View more from Vermont

I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.

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(802): I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises. http://tfl.nu/ux2t

Replies (1) Good night (804) Bad night (378)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.

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(717): Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy. http://tfl.nu/49ky

Replies (0) Good night (500) Bad night (264)
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(509): View more from Washington

well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.

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(509): well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list. http://tfl.nu/1yz2

Replies (1) Good night (567) Bad night (274)
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(970): View more from Colorado

I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.

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(970): I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo. http://tfl.nu/1qne

Replies (1) Good night (207) Bad night (128)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away

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(617): We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away http://tfl.nu/reog

Replies (1) Good night (161) Bad night (54)

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