I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Randomize
