i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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