Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
