it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
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