Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
