Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
