Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
