some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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