yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
