I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
