My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Randomize
