so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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