yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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