Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
