there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I have aggressive nipples.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Randomize
