He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
