My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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