needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize