I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
