I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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