brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
