Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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