"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Randomize
