ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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