Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
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