I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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