I am in a vortex of obligation.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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