If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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