Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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