yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
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