stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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