sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
