so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
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