Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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