Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
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