dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
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