Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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