My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
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after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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