This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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