does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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