My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
