i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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