The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
