I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
