he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
