he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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