Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
we should paint friendship bongs
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
