Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
