I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
i came on her dog
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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