I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Who died my cat blue again?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
