What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
People with herpes should wear stickers.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
