I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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