piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
