She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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