you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
