you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
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fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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