Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
