It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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